alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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