About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
