My girlfriend figured out who you are.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
