why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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