idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
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We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
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You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
tell me about the fingering
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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