you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
