i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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