i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
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We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
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I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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