I hope mine doesn't look like that
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
