I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Randomize
