Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
We need to rekindle our bromance
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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