Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?

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  (703): i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me? http://tfl.nu/u7ul
  Replies (13) Good night (1000) Bad night (435)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.

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  (509): My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work. http://tfl.nu/mmky
  Replies (11) Good night (2381) Bad night (645)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  how do we leave politely?

  (1-316): View more from Kansas

  Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.

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  (316): how do we leave politely? (1-316): Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke. http://tfl.nu/9vnx
  Replies (13) Good night (3998) Bad night (802)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.

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  (206): Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week. http://tfl.nu/twaw
  Replies (44) Good night (5239) Bad night (1406)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.

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  (859): Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out. http://tfl.nu/0ttb
  Replies (23) Good night (6112) Bad night (1529)
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  (858): View more from California

  Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch

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  (858): Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch http://tfl.nu/zban
  Replies (28) Good night (8706) Bad night (1286)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...

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  (850): Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it... http://tfl.nu/c9zy
  Replies (15) Good night (786) Bad night (4165)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did

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  (207): her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did http://tfl.nu/hfoj
  Replies (21) Good night (5210) Bad night (2044)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time

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  (517): He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time http://tfl.nu/hxad
  Replies (19) Good night (5422) Bad night (947)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.

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  (860): Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success. http://tfl.nu/qxy1
  Replies (8) Good night (3294) Bad night (643)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell

  (1-704): View more from North Carolina

  Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those

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  (704): Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell (1-704): Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those http://tfl.nu/iyze
  Replies (4) Good night (1655) Bad night (856)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...

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  (215): Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge... http://tfl.nu/fr2q
  Replies (4) Good night (1306) Bad night (508)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(

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  (406): I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :( http://tfl.nu/1rqk
  Replies (6) Good night (217) Bad night (559)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.

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  (253): If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls. http://tfl.nu/vsnx
  Replies (2) Good night (542) Bad night (123)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.

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  (952): We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me. http://tfl.nu/mqtk
  Replies (3) Good night (548) Bad night (190)

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