OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.