I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha