who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
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shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
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You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude