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Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
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