Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
