now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just found a bag of teeth...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
