Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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