mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
