I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
