are you so shy because you have an std?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
