in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
