I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
