I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
