Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I party with great urgency now.
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