I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
