There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
