My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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