I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
porn star boner night. come get it.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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