we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
