people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize