Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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