Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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