walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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