i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
so let's talk penis.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
