i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
