If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
