STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
