On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Sober January is a disaster.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
