dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
