i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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