if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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