guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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