drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize