just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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