yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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