he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
why do cheetos always look like penises
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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