I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
