My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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