is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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