For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
and she was petting her beer can
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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