if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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