The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
