so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
