if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I want to make a zoo with you.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
