our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
two words...techno handjob
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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