oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
