your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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