Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
