It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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