Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
