I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
