is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
